Because Sometimes Ye Just Have to Rant

That’s what the tagline says. 🙂

The American male is officially 97% domesticated. Poor gutless, nutless wonders that don’t get pissed off about anything, least of all having their essential liberties stolen away from them.

Let me tell you all a story. Once upon a time, many moons ago when I was 18, I met this hot little auburn hair chick. She was 21 and worked at the same place I did. There was serious chemistry there from day one, and we ‘clicked’. Well, we went out a few times, started dating, and as the story goes, one thing leads to another, and we became an item.

Well I found out from another co-worker than she was MARRIED. I’d never been over to her place, she said she lived with ‘very religious’ family that would not approve of our relationship, and any time we met downtown she’d always meet me at the park. I considered myself a fairly modern guy, so I didn’t really read too much into it. (Plus she was extremely hot, had a fantastic bod, and was a goddess in bed.)

Well after I found out she was married, I confronted her about it, and she admitted it. She just cried and cried and cried. Not because she loved me and had a tough decision to make. Oh no. She didn’t love me, (though she very much enjoyed the sex) she was just using me as an out, and a way to ‘get at’ her husband.

Which really sucked, because I was in love with the idiot bitch. But since she didn’t love me back, the choice to do the right thing and send her back to her hubby was an easy one.

Anyway, long story short, I requested to meet with and finally met the guy totally prepared for him to bring on the fisticuffs… I even figured I’d give him the first hit free. Talk about an utterly nutless wonder. he was about my size, maybe a bit bigger than me even, but he was so passive it was frankly embarrassing. He didn’t even get PISSED OFF. Not at all. Like he had no care in the world that I was jamming his hot little lamb.

I could tell this guy was a loser from the get go and had very little sympathy for him, really, but I explained the situation, I was honest with the guy, and told him that I honestly had no idea she was married, and that I was sorry for the problem.

“Ok.” He says, “We’re cool.”
“That’s it?” I inquired. “Yep.” he responds.

I wasn’t satisfied with that answer. So I tell him: “Dude, I’ve been fucking your wife for like, 3 months solid, every chance I get, totally rocking that kitty, and you are totally OK with that?”

He said nothing, so apparently he was.

I was embarrassed for him. I mean I felt sorry for the guy that he didn’t have the nuts to even GET mad at me.

I seriously offered him the chance to slug me one, so he’d at least feel better about the whole thing.

Nope. He wouldn’t do it.

I was baffled.

I asked him if he loved his wife. He said, and I quote. “Yea, I mean, I suppose.”

Hmm.

You ask me if I love my wife, and my answer would be “More than anything or anyone in the world, even think of touching her, and I’ll rip your nuts off and force feed them to you through a straw.” Or something equally creative.

And what I get from this guy was a ‘yea’ and he supposed?

Oh well, different strokes for different folks, and he must have been stroking a lot, as he sure as hell wasn’t rocking that kitty.

Turned out that the guy was a total weiner that treated his wife like absolute crap, ran her down all the time, verbally abused her, told her she wasn’t worth anything, was stupid, and ugly, etc. You know how it goes. Which is why she cheated on the loser in the first place.

Anyway, I’ve never told that story to anyone, other than my wife, so there ya go.

The American Nutless Wonder Story.